I was talking with a couple of my nephews - we had a quick and informal get together - and I asked Ben (who looks a bit like his dad in this photo)
if he had forgiven his mother (for being really mad at him for something he said) and he laughed and said, "I forgave her when I was 25."
My other nephew, Leo,
laughed and said. "Maybe I'll forgive mine when I'm 55."
We all laughed and I thought to myself it may be a measure of your parenting......the sooner your kids forgive you the better the parent you were.
Then I realized that I was about to turn 55 and I still hadn't forgiven my mother. Not really.
So the morning of my 55th birthday, before I got up, I said, aloud, "I forgive you mom."
How could I not forgive such a cute little kid?
Granted there was some water under the bridge between this adorable little girl and me turning 55, but forgiveness needed to be offered nonetheless.
My mom had a massive stroke before my kids were born. We had a moment before she died, when I was sitting in her room with her. She cried; she couldn't talk very well by then, and I said, "I know Mom. it's okay." And it was.
But still, I harbored unforgive-ness.
One time Ananda Girl wrote something about really liking my mom, and I went into some sort of weirdness. Like maybe I couldn't really trust Ananda Girl (which is of course rubbish!). I was shocked at the strength of my emotional response.
Still a hot button issue after all these years.
So I am working on forgiving my mom.
I have a couple of pictures of her around the house, before she was a mother. She seemed to be happy and carefree.
Never a thought in her mind of resenting an unwanted child.......
If any of you have any suggestions to help me forgive my mother for once and for all, please feel free to share them!