Saturday, June 26, 2010

The ABCs of Feelings - D

Well friendly friends, let's see what the letter D stands for -I'm betting on disappointment - let's see.

According to Alexandra Delis-Abrams, Ph.D in ABC Feelings: A Learning/Coloring Book,
D stands for - ta da - feeling disappointed.

"We feel disappointed when something we want to happen doesn't happen, or when we don't get what we want.
"When you felt disappointed, did you feel tired, and just wanted to go where no one would see you?"

I remember times in my childhood when I felt disappointed - one time someone was going to pick me up so I could play at their house, and that didn't happen. I burst into tears. My mother gave me ice cream to calm me down.

Another time some neighborhood kids were going to see a Beatles movie and my mom wouldn't let me go. (I don't remember which one - I didn't see it.)

And another time, the same kids were going fishing in the canal near their old school,

and again my mother wouldn't let me go. I think I must have had a melt-down, because I remember one kid asking,
"What's wrong with her?"
and the older sister said, "She wanted to go, and now her heart's broken."

Ah yes, I thought - my heart is broken!

I think I spent most of my childhood - and maybe even life - with a broken heart.
Sheesh, what a waste!

I just recently discovered that facing the world with a smile

is way better than facing the world with a scowl.

People respond way better to you when you are smiling than they do when you are scowling.

I know, you all already know this!
(In many ways, I am late coming to the game.)

So now when I feel disappointed, I remember to face the world with a smile.
(It's way better than having a melt-down!)

Can you think of a time when you felt disappointed?


  1. Geeze... so many choices! But I guess the one that pops first into my head was the time I went to the toy store to get a birthday present for someone. I saw this Breyer horse that I knew I had to have or I would just die. DIE! My dad said no. So I said I would not leave until he got me the horse. Hee hee.
    He said okay and went out to the car and drove out of the parking lot as I watched from the store window. I felt like I'd been hit by a bolt of lightning. Of course, he also drove back in the other drive way and found me sobbing in the aisle.
    I'm not sure what disappointed me more... feeling abandoned or learning that as a child I had no power what so ever!

  2. Ananda - I love love loved those horses. Deep sigh.

    I guess childhood is probably disappointing exactly because children have no power.

    Thanks for responding, especially with such a great response!

  3. I have avoided some disappointments because of my rather low expectations. Not something I am particularly proud of, but it seems to be my nature.
    One great disappointment that stands out in my mind involves high school, a boy I had a huge crush on, and the prom. We went and I thought it went great, but shortly thereafter he started dating someone else. I was puzzled and disappointed, but it made me realize that how I thought things were weren't necessarily how they actually were...if you know what I mean.

  4. laura - there is a lot to say for low expectations!

    thank you so much for sharing! :-)

  5. Remember that old SNL thing... "Lowered Expectations" dating site commercial? Ha!

    *Sorry... laura b. it just jumped out at me.

    But I am kindred there. I've always seen flowers when there was rain only to be let down by the truth. I wear rose colored glasses. Not that you do. I would much rather think the best of folks.

  6. ananda - as would i (think the best of folks). but i don'. i wonder if it's because of all the disappointments of my life or if it is a genetic personality thing.... hmmmm.

  7. I have been thinking a lot about disappointment since I did this post.

    It seems to come up in my thoughts - and I get to have a lot of quiet thoughts on my summer vacation - less work, more time to myself -

    Anyway - disappointment comes from having expectations -

    My son asked me to listen to a Rob Bell sermon and it talked about the same theme - the act of sacrifice is the thing, not the results - (The sermon is entitled The Sacred Waste - sorry it's not a hot link)

    This feelings "work" is good for me - I hope you're getting something from it to!