I just spent 4+ hours negotiating a treaty with the STBX.
(I will get it written up in legalese,
we will sign it - notarized
and attach it to the divorce.)
I have not talked with him since he left
Thanksgiving weekend.
We have emailed - mostly to set up this meeting -
that and the well problem -
dirty water coming out of the faucet -
but as for face to face talking (or even phone) -
this was our first.
We were supposed to have a budget worked out
and we did -
we were quite close in what we think it takes to run
Casa de Refugio.
I cried a great deal
and he did some, too.
In the midst of the 4 hours,
I asked some questions
about the high school sweetheart girlfriend
and their relationship.
All is not well.
She has some trust issues.
Imagine that!
But here is my reason for posting -
my Quote of the Day -
"Well, I guess I didn't know her
as well as I thought I did......"
Thank you for reading.
FIDLGB
(By the way,
did you see the Dude on Saturday Night Live?
Jeff Bridges says he's not the Dude,
but I am so not convinced!)
I'm glad you guys were able to work things out in practical terms.
ReplyDeletehaha! I do like your quote of the day. I guess he might finally realize that it is incredibly easy to idealize someone with whom you don't have to go through the day-to-day indignities of life! Glad to see you are able to see the humor in what he's gotten himself into.
And Dude! The Dude is The Dude. He just is.
laura - well, it turns out we are still in negotiation - I want more money and he wants more house - but indeed - i laughed out loud when he said that. And The Dude is The Dude, isn't he?
ReplyDeleteHi there - it's that in-person negotiating that I found really difficult. But I guess it was easier for me since I was the one leaving, though I felt guilty. He certainly has dug his grave... You are patient and a very good person.
ReplyDeleteOnly 4 hours? Sounds ok to me. Took me 2 months to get 24 more hours a month with my kids.
ReplyDeleteI've learned a lot about how a cheaters fantasy world falls apart when there's no marriage to compare it to anymore. It's amazing how they blend the fantasy relationship with the real relationship and eventually destroy both. Too bad there are so many other people negatively affected by it.
Hope you're doing ok. Hang in there.
Pamela - He certainly has dug his grave, but hopefully he'll come out the other side with his soul intact. And thanks for the compliment on my patience. I'm not that good, but better than some, certainly (worse than others, also - and really, it's just Christ who lives in me - that's the sum total of my goodness!). Anyway - thanks for the support.
ReplyDelete3Girl - Well, the negotiations aren't over; I spoke too soon. And luckily the kids cans negotiate their own time. I just got back from a walk where I realized part of what you just said - He was living in a fantasy world with me. La la la la la la la, he merrily skipped along in his own world. You are sooo right! Thank you for the support, too! I am hanging in, but it's no fun. Wawawa.
ReplyDeleteyou're handling this very well but it must be more difficult than you're letting on.
ReplyDeleteThanks Billy - I don't communicate the difficult part - when I'm in a funk - I'm silent.....
ReplyDeleteAnyway - thanks, I guess.
And it is quite difficult - but I have been through the emotional part off and on for 37 years. (He's got a wandering pee pee) The divorce part is new - and quite jarring.
This may be a rude thing to say but, I'd have some trust issues too if I were her. His behavior doesn't exactly scream "I'm very trustworthy".
ReplyDeletetexla - Ain't that the truth!
ReplyDelete